Like A Drunk, But Not

Glib as it may sound to say it, our arguments over money were really pretty easily settled. We have the same overall goals and we agree about what constitutes necessary versus frivolous spending so I suppose I shouldn't be so damned surprised. Or maybe it was just a run of a few bad days in a row for him. That happens too. I think that starting his new job might have something to do with it; I was against him taking this job, and he was against me being against it. That can make for some friction.
If I could close my eyes and make just one wish, I think for the first time in my life I'd wish for scads and oodles and bazillions of dollars. Money has never been all that important to me but right now I'm starting to see how it could help in all sorts of situations. I'm guessing that this means the ongoing economic crisis has actually crossed the threshold from the real world into my own private one. Not good, not good at all.
My oldest daughter Amber is starting to have the kinds of complications in her love life that I thought only gay men had. She lives with one guy - but she's not sleeping with him, even though he's her former high school sweetheart. He seems to want her to act as his full-time Mommy and only finds her appealing when he can't have her. He's also a bit verbally abusive, something I really can't say I care for. Her brother and I have actually had occasion to speak to him about the way he treats Amber and now he goes into his room whenever one or both of us is there and sulks. Poor thing, if he only knew that Amber is the only one keeping me, her brother and any number of other concerned parties from rearranging his face he'd probably be nicer. Then there's the guy she's dating now. He certainly is attractive, I'll give him that. He's got very bright blue eyes, a handsome face and dazzling smile... oh, and (according to Amber) he's... um... very physically gifted, m'kay? That's right, my little girl's a size queen. I privately think he's a player and almost certainly unfaithful, but nobody gets brownie points for saying so. I'm waiting until she catches him at it, and then I can console her and tell her that I suspected all along. If, that is, I'm not too busy disposing of his body when she kills him to say "I told you so."
I find myself in the novel and unpleasant situation of actually being bored lately. I miss my house, my books, my woods. I miss being able to go for a walk and bump into numerous people I've known all my life. I miss having conversations in the grocery store about things that happened decades ago. I keep telling myself that a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered... even though I'm starting to dread another move. I think most of it is just that I'm getting older and set in my ways. When circumstances demand that I be flexible it's harder and harder to comply. I know it happens to everybody - I just wish there was some way I could put off having it happen to me for, oh, about fifty years sounds right. If you know of some way for me to postpone all of the fun that comes with aging be sure to let me know what it is.
Finally, I wanted to give a shout-out and short paragraph to a blogger I've started to follow lately: Lou over at Subdural Flow. I really like her blog, and I feel like I'm going to learn a lot from reading it - which is one of the reasons I love blogs and blogging so much. Lou made a comment on my last post which I'd sorta like to address, you see, and I'd sorta like to reply.
Lou, you said that you worry a lot, and the possibility of something bad happening tomorrow is no excuse for irresponsibility today. I can see how you would feel that way. I was once quite the worrier myself, although I had to give the habit up. I went through something really hard and drastic and life-changing: I left a 15+ year marriage and was diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer in the same two month period. I went through chemo and surgery. I recovered... but I know that I'm still carrying the seeds of the cancer around inside me like a ticking time bomb. What I've learned from that and what I have to say are pretty much the same thing: I urge you (and everyone else who reads this) to live in this moment. How's that saying go? "The past is history, the future is a mystery, but each moment we live right now is a gift...?" My point to you is only that I have learned firsthand how powerless worry is to change events, and how detrimental it is to the worrier. I'm not going to say that everything's always going to be blue skies and roses. I know that you have your crosses to bear. I'm just hoping that they don't rob you of your enjoyment of life because this is the only one you're gonna get, and they don't offer refunds or do-overs. That's all.... Well, that and thank you for being my new blog-friend.
But now I'm going to wrap this one up. The laptop has made the tops of my thighs all sweaty and I have to finish the laundry before my beloved returns from work.
All my best to all of you.

Title lyric from "Dance Anthem of the 80's" by Regina Spektor.